One sunny day, a young woman was walking down a road near a coastal loch. Her attention was drawn by a frantic splashing, and turning her head, she noticed a man struggling to stay afloat.
"Help! Help please! I’m dr-"
The man could only make a pathetic ‘druh’ sound before bobbing back under and coughing repeatedly in an attempt to clear his lungs.
The young woman turned away and continued walking down the lane.
"What!? No please! You have to help me!"
The man’s incredulous voice reached her, and she turned to face him.
"I really can’t today. Perhaps you’ll be lucky and someone else will come and save you."
"You fucker! I can’t believe your nerve!"
The man ceased bobbing now, seeming to hover with his upper torso affixed a-top the water.
"You damned heartless bastard, get down here and save me right now from drowning."
"You seem to be doing completely fine right now."
"What are you-glurghbl…"
"Now you’re only make gargling noises with your mouth. You must think I’m very stupid."
"Very stupid or very cruel! To let a poor old man die here.”
"Fine, have it your way, I’m coming in. You better be grateful. I have a very busy day planned and no time for your shenanigans."
"Well thank you your majesty, I had no idea the Queen herself was putting herself out on her big day to save a life."
"I’m warning you though, you’re going to be surprised."
"Ha, and as will you."
The young woman removed her boots and socks, rolled up her pants legs before taking a running start and diving into the loch near the man.
No sooner had she entered the water then the man began to contort. His face swelled out and misformed, and from his throat a horrible laughing neighing began to issue.
"You are a fool!"
The Kelpie continued laughing as it lunged to grab her, its gelatinous skin making contact with her sides.
However, the being the monster had grabbed was no longer a human. He found himself holding a sea lion which sat in front of him, cocking its head in bemusement. The animal easily disentangled himself from the Kelpie’s similarly seal-like skin, and swam back to shore.
As the woman shook off her feet and put her socks and boots back on on the shore, the Kelpie lie floating on its back, its four legs splayed out.
"I told you you would be surprised."